Rachel Rose Withers

Fifty Shades Freed—the “climax” to the Fifty Shades trilogy—saw Christian and Ana do, well, a lot of boning, as Slate’s review so aptly put it. Sexy times and sexy thoughts were had all over the place, on planes, boats, and automobiles, not to mention all over the actual plot. While previous films in the franchise put time and effort into building up to their sex scenes (it took 42 minutes for the first, Fifty Shades of Grey, to hit its deflowering moment), Fifty Shades Freedmore or less does away with the idea of narrative foreplay, with sex scenes flying at us as unexpectedly as Dodge Durangos driven by deranged former bosses…